1.5 years

Back in Toronto for my assessment. 

Landed yesterday. Red is with me. 

We managed to find a restaurant - weird, I know - and then saw "The Fault Of Our Stars". 

Bawl!

There were sounds coming out of Red that I've never heard before. 

Honestly though, it was rough. It took me back to the land of oxygen and crusty lungs. 

However, it succeeded in reminding me of what I want in this life. Who I want to be. What I want to do. 

Life's too short to waste. It's too short to not follow your passion. 

This morning, we wake up to eyelids made of cement. 

It's been a long time since I've had a hangover, but wow I remember that feeling. So tired. Eyeballs sore. Wanting to pluck them out, shove them in a freezer for a little chill and plop them back in. 

Fresh eyeballs.

And the under eye area. Ugh. Sore. Sore from constantly wiping my eyes. 

Finally we were ready to head to TGH. We got there about 7:20pm. Blood was first. Except the blood lab peeps forgot they had a job to do...and were 20 minutes late realizing they were running a blood lab and had to, you know, stick people with needles and suck their blood out. 

Silver lining is all the transplanted chunkers we got to talk to. Met a couple that lives maybe 10 minutes from us at home. Didn't know them. But they are awesome. 

New chunker friends!!!

Next was CT scan and x-Ray. Apparently, my chunkers are beauts. Plus, I'm really good at radiation activities. 

Got to hang out withy buddy Shilpa, who is two months ahead of me with new 

Air-suckers. 

Pfts were next. Wow. OMG. Crazzzzy! 103%. I'm on fire! I huff and I puff and I huff and I puff and I huff...

I am very good at breathing. 

6 minute walk test was after lunch. My goal was to beat my last test. 

Well, did I ever do that. I was flying. Whipping up and down that hallway (which I pretended was a race track), taking people out left and right. 

Trick is to wear ear buds and listen to pumped up kicks. A wise woman told me that once - thank you Sandra, real estate goddess!

Last test I totaled 660 metres. 

Today. 

Well.

Don't be jealous. 

But.

I did...

703

Did you even hear me??

703!!!!!

What!?!!!!?

Yup, insanity. 

Next, I had clinic. Overall, everything is fantastic. I brought up my memory loss and complete lack of concentration. I feel, and don't mean to belittle this issue, practically pre-dementia. 

It's hard. 

I'm in a daze. A funk. A daze. A funky daze. 

Thankfully, they are listening. They're going to hook me up with neurology. Dig through my brain and stuff. 

Figure out why I'm going nutballz. 

I also explained that I'm rapidly loosing hair. Let's just prepare ourselves for a wig. I'm thinking that direction. It's bad. I've already chopped a bunch off. But. It. Keeps. Falling. 

Tonight, after walking all over the city, red and I got to visit my park friends. My Toronto family. I miss them so much. I just want to wrap them in a blanket and shove them in my suitcase. 

Except they would likely pass away from lack of oxygen. Oh and also the airline would likely not allow them on board via suitcase. 

That plan is screwed. 

Tomorrow is bronch...Let's kick it. 

Confusion

That's what I feel. 

It's what I've been feeling lately. 

No longer sure. Of me. Of things. 

I've been floating around in a daze. Stumbling along, not knowing which direction to go in. 

I wish there were signs (perhaps like road signs) that would pop up and be my own personal gps. Guiding me along the right path. Lighting up as I take step after step. 

I forget things. They are at my grasp...but then float away. Zig zagging so that I can't catch, nor hold on. 

I feel as though I'm in an alternate world. Ungrounded; my toolbox of sanity and reality lost. 

I wish there was a pool of clarity I could visit. I would step right up, stare in the water...and it would circulate, spinning around and around. It would launch straight up and explode like magic. Finally, tiny droplets would fall back to earth. 

Then a vision would appear. 

And I would know. 

Great Great Freaking Great Strides

Yesterday was absolutely fabulous!!!

🏃🏃🏃🏃🚶🚶🚶🚶🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃

Got to see some great people and more importantly raised $$$ to fight cystic fibrosis. 

Our team raise $2300. Not bad. Next year I want to double that. 

I have plans. 

So far Great Strides has raised over $3 million. 

Holy cow Batman. Or something like that. 

I believe that pictures say a thousand words. 

So here are those thousand words:

A HUGE freaking thank you 👏 to everyone that sponsored myself and my team. 

And a HUGE high five ✋ to my team. That you all came meant more to me than a bag of Doritos. 

Live Laugh Lungs!!!!!

Playing Catch Up

It's embarrassing how long it's been since I've posted. How bad am I? Letting life get in the way of my true passion - spewing nonsense for you all to laugh at. 

I've been busy with work and training. We train every Wedneaday night and holy chunkers - it's intense. For example, this week we did sprints. Lots of 'em. 

Here's the breakdown:

5x40m

4x60m

3x100m

That first sprint was awesome. Easy. Felt like a beast. 

By the third or fourth, I felt my legs go wobbly and threaten to collapse, burying my face in the track. 

By the end I was trying to dig deep but couldn't find the shovel. 

It was harrrrd. 

The good news is that in the transplant games I only run the once. 100m once. The relay is another 100m but at another event. 

The 3k road race I'm signed up for is nutz. BUT, I don't have to sprint my way through.  I will pace myself. And dream about Doritos waiting at the finish line. 

And Big Macs. 

The other day when I was running - okay jogging, I had to remind myself that I had shiny beautiful chunkers and that I could breath.  

I had a moment where the air was slim and I was almost gasping for it. It's a sharp reminder of life with the crusties. 

Yuck. 

Crusties - you ain't wanted around here. 

I'm also up to 10 girl push-ups. So proud. My muscles are huge. I should really enter some sort of amazing person who does girl push-ups competition. 

Brad has been away off and on for business, which leaves me along with my furry boys. It's a bit harder to deal with three furries by myself. It definitely gets done, but takes longer - ie. walks. 

They make me feel so safe though. Before, when it was just the g-man, and Crosby and Jagger weren't around, I would be a freaking ridiculous mess. Looking in closets, under beds, in the shower. Lights on outside all over the place. Triple checking the locks. 

But Crosby is the dawg. No one would mess with him. He is a gentle giant BUT would absolutely kick a$$ if required.  

Oh, also I am a beast, right? Therefore I would just karate chop the bad guys. Simple. Good to have a plan. 

The lotto tree fundraiser went extremely well! We raised $660 - or around that. So impressed. Now that we've done it once, next year's total will be even more substantial. 

The CF walk is this Sunday. I'm on the bus, and after transfering to my car, will be on my way to pick up our too cool for school t-shirts. 

My sister-in-law's mom designed them. She did a fantastical job. I'm psyched to see my team in them.  

The boys will be home from Africa soon. Can't wait to have a fabulous summer. 

In other news, I've been booked to speak at a local university's shine day. Shine day is the kick off for Shinerama - hen h iversities raise boatloads of dollars for CF.

After a break.....

After tucking and rolling my way off thie bus - I got the shirts!!!!

First photo is the front:

WoW!!!!! In love!!!

Have an incredible weekend and register to be an organ donor if you haven't already done so!!!

Amazing job Linda!!!! You will become a popular, extremely sought-after t-shirt designer now!!!!!

Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to my fabulous mama. What would I do without her?

Well, number one - I wouldn't be alive (as in, never born).

And number two - I may not be alive (as in, never making it to the transplant list).

My mom is quite the little fighter. When she believes in something, when there's something she wants - especially for her children, watch out. It will likely happen. 

Years ago when transplant was brought up, aside from crying my eyeballs off, I had a lot of chats with mom. 

She also cried her eyeballs off. 

But more importantly, she started scheming. She was determined that I go to Toronto and be listed. That I could afford to go, afford to stay and afford to go back when needed. 

She did it. 

With the help from a lot of her friends, my friends, the community and even strangers. 

I can never repay what was done for me. 

I can only hope that my mom knows just how much she means to me and how much I love her. 

I love life. 

Mom fought for me to keep living. 

I'm alive. 

That all equals an amazingly good time. 

Thank you mom. Thank you for being you. Thank you for fighting for me and not stopping until you knew enough had been done. 

Thank you for giving up 2 months of your life to live with me in Toronto. 

I love you. 

Thanks to Bonnie, Heather and June for putting their lives on hold to come haul my oxygen, wheel chair and traveling drug store around the mean streets of Toronto. You are all moms and you are all a mom to me. I love you guys.  

Happy Mother's Day to all moms reading this. 

You're all important and you all deserve to have an amazing day. 

 Do realize that I wrote this at the end if the day. So what I should be saying is "I hope you all HAD and amazing day."

Happy Doritos to you all!

Achievement!!!

Holy wow. Pretty sure I just did a sort of REAL sit up. The non-cheating kind. I mean, I'm pretty sure.

I am definitely the coolest person I know. 

Likely beyond cool. 

I mean, hello!?! I can also do girlie push ups. A lot of them. Yes, that's right. A lot. 

Plus I am very good at eating Doritos. 

Balance

Brad and I went to Spider-Man last night. Imagine our surprise to see this guy show up:

Totally normal. 

Speaking of normal, my life is getting back to that. I went back to work on Thursday. 

Now I need to figure out how to balance work, Brad, my work outs, my running training, the dogs, my social life and in June - the boys. 

Oh, and I need to ensure that I still have time to hang out with celebrities, travel the world, write more surgery manuals and just be cool. 

I will need to constantly remind myself that work is not my only priority. I guess I could just slap my face when I get out of control. 

The workouts with the Organ Grinders have been awesome. Hard, but awesome. Every single time I'm pushing myself. 

This morning during a run/walk I had a "moment". I was staring at the birds flying all over the place above my head and it hit me that I WAS RUNNING! 

What?!?!?!

How is this possible? I couldn't even fathom this 1.5 years ago. I could barely get across the street. If there weren't 20 seconds on the crosswalk left, I would wait for the next one. 

Remember the granny shuffle??

Now - I'm running! 

Ok, so maybe it's more of a jog. But does that really matter? My legs are moving. My heart is pumping. My chunkers are circulating oxygen like pros. 

I have to be careful not to start bawling in the middle of my run, cause that would just be crazy. I mean, I wouldn't be able to see.  

I've also registered for the Canadian Transplant Games. Eeeeek!!

I'm up for 5 events:

1. Double badminton - with Gramps

2. Long jump

3. 100m race

4. 100m relay X4 - with 3 vet cool chunker recipients

5. 3 km road race

Now I officially think I'm nuts. I did 2km this morning and wanted to die. 

I've been saying that I don't care if I come in last place; that I just want to do complete it.  

But, if you've read any of my blog, you know that's crap. Every bone in my body is competitive. I can't change that. It's a part of me. My donor was likely the same way, cause these chunkers are definitely competitive. You can tell these things, you know. 

I want a medal!!!!! 

I want a medal!!!!!

Happy Saturday!