Tuesday, 8 April 2014

The Attack

Cystic Fibrosis is a truly horrible disease.

One of my biggest issues with CF was that it wouldn't let me laugh. Every laugh turned into an exhausting coughing fit, leaving me struggling to breathe.

Something is funny. Perhaps someone makes a joke, a tv show has a funny moment, your puppy flips himself over and it's freaking hilarious.

You start laughing.

You are lucky to get out a few "ha ha's".

You feel it. It's deep in your chest. It's ripping to come out.

You try to stop it. You hold your breath.

It's not working. Lung disease doesn't allow you to hold your breath.

Your face is red. You're getting hot. Why is it so hot in here??

It breaks free.

The laughter fades...the rumble in your chest makes its way up and you are paralyzed to stop it.

You hate for anyone to see you like this, so you turn away.

You are loud. But you can't stop it. It thunders on like a freight train.

You spit up. You pray that this time you won't vomit.

You pray there won't be any blood.

It takes your breath. You sink to the floor, as you can't support yourself and at least then there won't be far to fall.

Those who know you are used to it, so they patiently wait until you are finished. Strangers, however, are frightened and keep asking, "Are you okay?"

You can't respond, for you are slightly busy having the wind knocked out of you.

Finally the coughing stops. But it's not over.

It takes minutes to calm down and catch your breath.

Breathe in....breathe out. Slow it done; get control. You are not dying today.

It's over. You can stand up now. But be careful...another attack is just around the corner.

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