Hello, energy?

I woke this morning and knew right away that something was wrong. The nurse took my morning vitals and my temp was 37.5  - already much higher than my usual. 

I struggled to get out of bed...so I didn't. I  death gripped the phone during a conference call with work and tried not to  fall asleep and/or drool on my pillow. 

I hung up and contemplated rising from bed. Useless thought, as I didn't have the energy to blink. 

I felt hot. I called the nurse. Temp was 38.5. 

I was done. 

No work for this girl. I closed down my hospital office and continued to lie in bed.  I stayed that way through all the doctors coming in and out. I was poked and prodded and questioned to death. 

I must know all the medical staff in Halifax by now. 

I didn't even sit up until Brad brought me a Big Mac combo. Yes...I felt crusty, yet I managed to scarf down most of that delicious and nutritious treat. 

My white blood cell count dropped again. Injections are done. Now we wait to see where they go from here. 

I hadn't had a fever since I was admitted. I have to admit - I shed self-pitying tears today. 

I really wanted to go home tomorrow!!

Plus, I thought I'd be all healthy and stuff by now. Doing cart wheels down the halls and running triathlons all over the place. 

I just have to breathe. And realize that Transplantland is a difficult place. A wonderful and amazing place, but also a difficult place. 

I will never know what the future holds, but then neither do you. 

But my goal now is to remember what's important in life and to stop putting other things before my health. 

Like that coca-cola that makes me sick every time I drink it, but is soooooo damn delicious.  

I'm still searching for energy and would appreciate any of your leftovers. I'll take second hand. I am not proud. 

For now, the IV's have stopped. Blood work continues and we wait and see what happens. 

The very good news is they are taking a biopsy of my canker sore ( trust me, it's nasty) so hopefully the end is in sight. 

Tomorrow is Brad's birthday. Of course I want out for that. I am still going to try to get out - you never know, maybe I can do some of this resting and waiting at home??

If not, there's a cool doctor here who promised that we'd have a rocking party for Brad. 

He deserves it. He's had a lot of my sickness and never runs away from it. On the contrary, he puts his doctor face on and researches any virus, bug or new medication I'm dealing with. 

I'm a lucky girl. 

And he's pretty lucky too, eh? I mean, who wouldn't want to spend their birthday in the hospital?