Thursday 27 September 2012

Ugly orange cab - YoU SucK

Yesterday Heather and I wheeled down to Winners before physio. Why? Looking for a money holding bag for moi, of course.

I think I've got this whole thing figured out.

There is an underground purse cartel. They have spies all over the city. These spies report back to the home base, which has some sort of purse sucking machine. When I approach any store, a signal is sent over the wire (or perhaps is sent into the sky, but is invisible to us non cartel folk) and all the nice purses are sucked under the floor and only return upon my exit.

Hence, I am still carrying around a bag that looks like it's been run over by a street car, sucked down into the sewer, chewed by some rats, spit back up and beaten against a brick wall. 

It's very attractive.

Heather loves carting my crusty lungs around the city for some reason. When we wheel to physio she gets to see all kinds of things. Take yesterday for example. A woman wasn't very patient with us crossing the street and I was pretty sure Heather was going to throw the woman on her ___. What better time to have a blow out? Git-r-done and get out of town.

Heather leaves Sunday and Bonnie, my godmama, arrives. Lindsay, also known as L-dawg, or the girl who would've jumped Justin Trudeau at the airport, comes Saturday for a week. She's mostly just excited for the Toronto food options.

Physio went well, until I started pumping my incredible leg muscles on the bike. I think Carman turned the bike against me; probably snuck in right before I hopped on and told it I make fun of stationary bikes in my spare time or something. It felt like I was dragging 400 humans behind.

The only explanation I have is that it's Carman's fault.

Last night was games night. Our 2nd post-transplant wannabee's games night (however this time there was one actual post-transplantee there). I almost backed out of going as I was having a bit of a pity party due to a pulled neck/back muscle...I threw myself in bed and felt like staying there. But, as I can't stand to miss out on games night, I stood up, told myself off, and Heather and I jumped in a cab.

Except it was orange...and ugly
There was a street between Pamela's place and mine that was shut down, so the cars were alternating between a snail's pace and a stand still. I decided it would be more advantageous to get out and walk.

Murphy's freaking law.

Traffic decided it would start moving as soon as we exited the ugly orange cab.

It was a good time, I fell in love with Kristy's aunt (Kristy is a post-transplant wannabee). The woman is hilarious and shares my sense of humour....which could be dangerous **smirk**. As far as who won...I decided to be nice and let someone else win for a change; I'm really sweet like that.

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Today at physio my buddies (Mark and Carman) and I had a photo shoot, courtesy of Pamela. I like to refer to us as the "Squat Team".

You know what they say, "a rose between two thorns"

My muscles are huge

Carman's trying to nap on my shoulder

I heard back from Wheel-Trans today; apparently my lungs are crusty enough for them to cart me around the city. This sexy booklet was waiting for me to get my hands on it when I got home.

And here I didn't think I could get any cooler



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5 comments:

  1. Imost certainly adjusted the tension on the bike. I messed with the tread as well but you picked the wrong one. I wasn't falling asleep on your shoulder. I was just alittle tired after my 30 squats with 25lbs. Versus your, was it 6 with a 1lb weight!

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  2. Dear Miss J Journey
    It behooves me to advise you that you have been named as the defendant in a charge of egregious defamation of character, filed by one Carman Sfault, the plaintiff. We here at Inflamed Incensed Compromised Addled Persecuted Traumatized Abhorred Insulted & Nauseam (hereafter referred to as the firm of I I CAPTAIN) have been retained to handle this suit on behalf Mr. Sfault and as such must caution your solipistic publishing of further claims of equipment tampering.

    As evidenced by the comment posted above, we have a public confession by the perpetrator, one Anonymous, for all the world (or at the very least the legion of your followers, to see.

    We request then, that you cease and desist from publishing these wildly inaccurate claims against Mr. Sfault, who has nothing but the best regard for your improved physical being.

    Ms A D Nauseum,
    LOL with I I CAPTAIN

    PS - Mr. Sfault wishes to express his unbridled excitement at your having at long last found a suitable satchel!

    ReplyDelete
  3. One question...do I get to ride in that bus too when I'm there??

    Lil Sis :)

    ReplyDelete