My incredible friend.

I don't understand; I'm really struggling with this one. 

I've always believed that everything happens for a reason. 

But this?

I can't wrap my mind around this one. 

Kris. 

Why?

Why did you have to go? 

My age. You were my age. You were such a good friend. Always there. Someone you could really count on. 

Such a beautiful person. 

In every way. 

Kris, what I wanted to do the day before you left us, is scream. Scream at you. I felt it in my soul. I felt that we were going to lose you. That you didn't have much time. 

I wanted to yell "Don't die! Don't you understand that you're going to die? You have to do something!"

But, of course, I didn't. It was irrational. I was feeling so helpless and so scared. I couldn't imagine feeling the pain from losing Mark all over again. 

Transplantland is tough. It's really freaking tough. There is no way to prepare for this. No possible way to prepare for this. The incredible pain. The unbearable sadness. 

We will never get over losing you. Instead we will come together and celebrate your life. Remember how amazing and fabulous you were. How lucky we all were to have known you To feel your warmth. Your love. Your energy. 

Lucky to have called you a friend and been a part of your inner circle. 

Tomorrow I fly to Montreal to meet others from our lung family. I promise to do my best to support D and your parents.  And I will celebrate everything Kristy. 

Someday we will meet again. 

I love you.