Thursday, 29 October 2015

Less than 24 hours

Today could actually be the last day my foot and leg are entrapped in this thing. 

Although it is beautiful; Kristy's favorite colour. 

Tomorrow morning I get it sawed off. I can't even start to describe my elation. 

I wonder if they'll use a chain saw?

I never want to see another cast again for the rest of my life. And the crutches - I'd like to smash into a gazillion pieces and throw them into outer space. 

Which I'm sure is totally realistic. 

I've been the clutziest (?) person in the history of crutch handlers. 

I am crunching along, minding my business, when one crutch decides to take an alternate route, leaving me spinning and my head flopping all over the place. 

I've managed to balance myself on each stair climbing up and reach the top only to nearly topple backward slamming my head into the floor. 

I've managed to fall going up the stairs, landing on my arms, breathing, once again, like darth vader. 

I've managed to fall backward on an escalator. It was classy as hell though. 

My crutches have fallen on our new hardwood floor a minimum of 3/day. Oops Brad, my bad. 

Today my crutch slipped on the wet floor, sending my arm into the wall and my friends holding me up. 

I've gotten many guesses on how I broke my foot. 

"Sports accident?"

"Rock climbing?"

"Kick your husband?"

And then I tell them the truth. At a wedding. On the dance floor. 

"Oh, break dancing?"

I'm a bad ass break dancer. 

My bones aren't what they used to be. Remember that grandma shuffle? Hmmm, seems grandma is trying to make a comeback. 

I owe a lot. I owe a months worth of coffee runs to my colleagues. 

I owe drives to friends. 

I owe many many walks to my furry boys.

And I owe a years worth of cleaning to Brad.

Kris, I know you'll miss the purple cast. 
I'm sorry, but I won't. 

But, I miss you. 💚