Friday 31 August 2012

20,000+ & The arrival of Aunt Heather

This blog has reached 20,000+ hits & 33 countries!
I feel so damn special.

But you are special Squeegee...you were crowned.

Thanks for reading guys. It's nice to know that there are bored people out there; people who have nothing to do but sit back, suck a coffee back their throats and soak in the crazy that spews out of my mouth, I mean from my fingers.

Ok, let's discuss this morning's events shall we?

I wake. My eyes lock with the G-man's. A light bulb goes off.

I will give Brad a break and take Griffin out first thing in the morning!

Have you ever seen a comatose snail driving a broken locomotive? Please, don't sit there are shake your head. Everybody's seen that happen.

That was me.

It was a great idea to jump out of bed, yank out the feeding tube, skip the aerosols (who needs lung meds), grab the furry boy and go out in the Sahara Desert.
No, that is not Griffin

The humidity smacked me in the face and nearly knocked me on the ground (it did others, there were bodies lying everywhere, but what with me being a superhero and all, I didn't fall). It was so gross out, I thought I'd have to share my O2 cannula with the G-man.

We made it to the green space and out of the corner of my eye I spotted Craig. Craig! I wasn't alone!! It was like spotting water. After we were finished talking about how amazing my hair was, we saw another park friend, Anne, coming up the path.

Anne was so great; despite being sick herself (cold), she stayed outside with me and walked the 700 miles to Griffin's dumping spot, allowing me to stand in one spot and just breathe. Such a huge help. I probably would've ended up lying in the grass somewhere squeaking out Brad's name if it wasn't for her.

So, lesson learned (see squat buddy...I learned a lesson, so learn from my mistakes), I will never again attempt to take my boy out before drenching my lungs in inhaled goodness - pulmozyme (mucas thinner), tobramycin (antibiotic) and salbutamol (opens the airways).


Later in the day we made our way to Billy Bishop Airport. Traffic was grotesque...I likely could have walked there faster - carrying Brad & Squeaker on my back.

However, once word got out that it was Squeegee that had to get through, the road opened up and we blew by.

And while waiting in line to board the ferry to get to the airport we noticed this guy only steps in front of us:

For you L-dawg
Some of you will recognize him. For those of you who don't, he is Justin Trudeau, the oldest son of the late Pierre Trudeau - Prime Minister of Canada from 1968-1984. He is also one of my friend Lindsay's crushes. I swear guys, if she had of been with us, her heart would have launched out of her chest and straight into his face, and she then would have been thrown in the slammer for assault when she threw her body on top of his.

We were hoping to catch up to him (it was really hard to get through the crowd) and talk to him about organ donation, as he's also a Canadian politician, but his freaking legs just moved so fast.

We finally made it through the heat and into the air conditioned airport. I was worried that Heather's flight might have come in early (even though the board said it was "en retardé") so my head was spinning around and around and around and around and eventually just flew right off my shoulders.

Finally we arrived at arrivals (like that?) and Brad spotted her through the glass doors. I was so happy that she made it alive and unsedated...it was her very first flight. 

Heather came armed with only 1 freaking bag????? How does a woman do that????

She also came with cards and goodies from my other aunts. WOW! Thanks guys!!! You are all so sweet!

We've introduced Heather to the park people and this weekend she will get to meet the Hamiltons. I've told her to prepare herself for the crazy month ahead.

It will be wild and wonderful and watch out Wayne...she will come home a new woman. I will do my best to keep her away from the men of the park (the overnight variety).

I will add, to be nice, that Heather won the card game tonight. I know you are all shocked that I wasn't declared the winner once again...but the reason for this is due to me simply being nice and welcoming. 

I wouldn't want to scare her off already would I?

1 comment:

  1. Welcome to TO Heather, glad you made it safe and sound! Can't wait to meet with you so I can dilute some of Squeegee's lies down to something that may resemble the truth about what goes on around here!
    Looking forward to lots of laughs over cards!

    Congrats on surpassing the 20,000 Jess!

    ReplyDelete