Something isn't right.
My eyes fly open. It's dark. I feel something cold and wet. My hands go to my stomach...Evidence.
I flick the light on.
Yup - the feeding tube connector has come out and the feeds have been happily spewing out over my guts. As opposed to in my guts where it belongs.
Not the first time.
I have had some knock-down-drag-out fights with the feeding tube; it loves to leak. What's not so cool is when I'm dressed up nice and I look down and notice the g-tube has leaked over my shirt. I just grin and bare it though, as I need the pounds. I can't wait until I can throw the bags away for the last time!
However, last night was not so great. My t-shirt was soaked, the sheet under me soaked, my pillow that I hug was soaked (yes, I have a pillow that I hug...you probably do too, right?). I managed to change, wipe up the best I could and throw a towel down over the bed sheet so I wouldn't get re-soaked and did all that without waking Brad. Well, until the very end, but I'm not entirely sure he was coherent.
Thankfully, there were no more accidents throughout the night (just think of me as a toilet training toddler) and this morning everything came out in the wash ;)
Today was mostly a relaxing day, but we did get out for a walk. We wanted to do a bit more exploring of the St. Lawrence Market and beyond, however my body decided to quit and we cut it short. We managed to get all the way there though (2 blocks away) before my blood sugar plummeted. I'm really starting to get frustrated. It seems I may have to start checking my levels a bazillion time a day.
If I can inspire you to do anything (or scare the crap out of you), I would hope it would be to do everything you can to avoid developing diabetes (and sign up to be an organ donor - so I guess that's two things). It is unforgiving and insufferable. It's always there watching your every move and having input in everything you do. It's naggy and in your face and NEVER GOES AWAY. If diabetes had a personal ad it would look like this:
Enjoys long walks on the beach and anywhere else, plus 10,000 push ups daily (because you need the exercise to try to control me), needles full of insulin, constant monitoring and looks forward to giving you narsty future complications if you don't be careful.
I gotta say, I'm thoroughly enjoying sitting out on my deck staring at all the people. Who doesn't love a good people watching session? Don't you ever wonder who these people are and what their story is? Like, where are they going? Are they happy? Do they live here or are they on vacation? Heading off on a blind date? Running away from a blind date?
I had somewhat of a bad moment emotionally today. Thankfully, my mom made me feel better. Guess it doesn't matter how old you are, you'll always need your mama. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by what other people are going through here on the list. I wish I could find those lungs I've been searching for on Ebay and start handing them out in physio. People really struggle. Some need O2 to simply brush their teeth.
Please don't ever take your healthy organs for granted...