Tuesday, 26 June 2012

Feeding Frenzy

Something isn't right.

My eyes fly open. It's dark. I feel something cold and wet. My hands go to my stomach...Evidence.

I flick the light on.

Yup - the feeding tube connector has come out and the feeds have been happily spewing out over my guts. As opposed to in my guts where it belongs.

Not the first time.

I have had some knock-down-drag-out fights with the feeding tube; it loves to leak. What's not so cool is when I'm dressed up nice and I look down and notice the g-tube has leaked over my shirt. I just grin and bare it though, as I need the pounds. I can't wait until I can throw the bags away for the last time!

However, last night was not so great. My t-shirt was soaked, the sheet under me soaked, my pillow that I hug was soaked (yes, I have a pillow that I hug...you probably do too, right?). I managed to change, wipe up the best I could and throw a towel down over the bed sheet so I wouldn't get re-soaked and did all that without waking Brad. Well, until the very end, but I'm not entirely sure he was coherent.

Thankfully, there were no more accidents throughout the night (just think of me as a toilet training toddler) and this morning everything came out in the wash ;)

Today was mostly a relaxing day, but we did get out for a walk. We wanted to do a bit more exploring of the St. Lawrence Market and beyond, however my body decided to quit and we cut it short. We managed to get all the way there though (2 blocks away) before my blood sugar plummeted. I'm really starting to get frustrated. It seems I may have to start checking my levels a bazillion time a day.

If I can inspire you to do anything (or scare the crap out of you), I would hope it would be to do everything you can to avoid developing diabetes (and sign up to be an organ donor - so I guess that's two things). It is unforgiving and insufferable. It's always there watching your every move and having input in everything you do. It's naggy and in your face and NEVER GOES AWAY. If diabetes had a personal ad it would look like this:

Enjoys long walks on the beach and anywhere else, plus 10,000 push ups daily (because you need the exercise to try to control me), needles full of insulin, constant monitoring and looks forward to giving you narsty future complications if you don't be careful.

I gotta say, I'm thoroughly enjoying sitting out on my deck staring at all the people. Who doesn't love a good people watching session? Don't you ever wonder who these people are and what their story is? Like, where are they going? Are they happy? Do they live here or are they on vacation? Heading off on a blind date? Running away from a blind date?

I had somewhat of a bad moment emotionally today. Thankfully, my mom made me feel better. Guess it doesn't matter how old you are, you'll always need your mama. Sometimes I get overwhelmed by what other people are going through here on the list. I wish I could find those lungs I've been searching for on Ebay and start handing them out in physio. People really struggle. Some need O2 to simply brush their teeth.

Please don't ever take your healthy organs for granted...


  1. I think that you are the strongest and most stubborn women that i know and i know that it has to be hard being away from everyone and seeing what everyone else is going through there. But thank god you have the best support person ever with you. Yes, that is the G-Man, not you Brad, just joking. Thank you for being there for her when we all cant. i know that you are taking such great care of my best friend and i cant thank-you enough.
    I cant wait to be up there in 2 more sleeps to hang out with my bestest. See u in 48 hours and remember we will have to go to the mall of course. It's me i cant go without shopping.

  2. I can't wait to see you!!!! Mom and Dad are all excited too. You will get to see my life here and my amazing physio routine.
    Don't worry, we'll get you to the mall, my little shopaholic!

    1. Like I said tonight when i was talking to you the most exciting thing that i want to do and cant wait to do is just hang out with my bestest. Miss u lots and it is lungly without u here.With a blink u will be back here again. I can feel it.

  3. Hey Jess! I love reading ur blogs... I had the same problem with my connector coming out as well when I sleep... lol Its an aweful mess and very sticky... My solution, go to supetstore, walmart or somewhere in the first aid aisle and get a roll of the awesome (ouchless :-) ) paper tape and just put a strip completely over the connector onto ur stomach... I find that way it doesnt fall out and make a huge mess... One night I took one of my sleeping pills cause I was exhausted and needed my rest, hooked up and forgot my tape!!! Woke up 6 hrs later and by the looks of my bed 5 1/2 hours of feed was on my sheets!!!! Ugh what a mess!! But after all the messes I cleaned up I finally put one of the pads that they use in the hospital ( that doesnt leak through ) on top of my mattress incase of another accident so my mattress doesnt have to be soaked n cleaned 10 times before that aweful vanilla smell comes out... lol Keep your chin up cause when its all over everything will be very well worth it!!!!
    Jennifer Crouse

    1. Great ideas Jennifer. I'll definitely look into that. Every time the thing leaks I want to give up on it. But, then I remember how important it is and how it gives me a story to tell ;)