I have only 4 nights left in Nova Scotia. If I sit back and actually think about what is happening I get overrun with emotion. This has been 4 years in the making.
I am getting new lungs!
This is insane. This is truly insane.
Bye bye crusty lungs. You and I have grown apart. It's time to break up. It's not you, it's me....ya, lets go with that.
I was born with a chronic illness called Cystic Fibrosis. For those of you unfamiliar with CF, feel free to check out Cystic Fibrosis Canada's website: http://www.cysticfibrosis.ca/en/index.php
When I was a little girl I remember doing aerosols, mom and dad giving me physio and mixing my enzymes in apple sauce. I was lucky, I had a little friend with CF named Laura, so I wasn't the only strange girl sucking back apple sauce before my lunch. As I got older I was able to do aerosols on my own, do my own physio and I ditched the apple sauce; I can take a lot of pills at one time. Does that make me cool? Absolutely.
High school was a breeze. I played a lot of sports and, aside from a couple of hospitalizations, CF stayed in the background - where it belonged.
CF must have felt left out, like it wasn't getting enough attention. "Helllooooo, remember me? I'm CF. Aren't we like, best friends??!! In my early 20's it starts acting up. However, I think it was just lonely, because along comes a friend...Cystic Fibrosis Related Diabetes (CFRD). Ugh. Anything but diabetes. Gross. Controlling it with diet turned into controlling it with pills which turned into controlling it with tiny, annoying, painful needles full of insulin.
Someone wanna pass along a message? "Go away CFRD, although you are crushing on me, you are not my type!"
2008 I got very sick. Hospital sick. ICU kind of sick. I will go in to detail in another post, but for now we'll leave it at - I was the kind of sick where your doctor advises you that you need a double-lung transplant to save your life (because you almost died and your lung disease has taken over your body) and you sit there staring at him/her wondering if this is it; did CF win? However, because I am super human, my health stabilized.
For the last 4 years I've been monitored by the transplant team. I'm really good at pretending everything is okay and saying "I'm gooood, everything's fine". I really hate complainers and I can't stand people who look for attention. So, that's the last thing I ever wanted to be. I also have some sort of preoccupation with pretending I'm normal (go ahead - laugh). Who wants to be different?
There it goes again. CF starts whining and comes screaming in like a banshee - Ya, hi, me again. I feel like an ignored housewife. I have needs too. I have neeeeds. This last year I've really felt it put on a squeeze. It couldn't be ignored any longer. My CF specialist felt it was time for new lungs and I agreed. (I will write more later about why it's time.)
I flew to Toronto in March with my friend Lindsay for a week-long assessment. Four weeks later I received the call. Not to be confused with the call I'll receive from TGH saying they have an actual set of lungs on ice for me.
"We agreed you are a suitable candidate for transplant and now is the time for you to be listed".
I was rocking a pretty crazy cocktail of emotions. What???? For real???? It's my time???? Shut it! No......Yes!!!!
I move June 3rd.
I'll be listed June 5th.
June 5th starts the wait for my new life. My second chance at life.
Live, Laugh, Lungs allows me to share my story and chronicle my adventures.
Live with me, laugh with me and follow along on my search for lung-term happiness.