I See You!

Her eyes are finally open and she is starting to look more like the Jess we all know.

On Friday, Heather (One of The BFF's) arrived from Calgary for a surprise. She was hiding in the hallway of the luxurious Jail (hospital) when Jessica strolled on by, in her 1972 hospital bed. Jess noticed her on the way by and did a triple take followed by a " What are you doing here?" You see, Jess is on heavy medication, so lately she has been getting confused easily. She tends to get confused without meds so with them, she is quite a mess.

Anyway, yesterday Jess looked great throughout the day and it seemed like she turned the corner towards better health. Unfortunately last night her breathing was very heavy and she couldn't seem to catch a breath on her own. They had to hook up the bipap (portable ventilator that forces air to the lungs) and privately mentioned to me that they may have to take her back to the ICU.... This was the last thing that we wanted...

The ICU didn't happen and she has been great so far today. She walked to the bathroom on her own (with help) and when she walks back from the 8 steps, she is not gasping for air.

She laughed today numerous times.. I can't tell you how nice and refreshing it was to hear her female Count Dracula laugh (he he he he he)

She has been reading her blog and facebook comments and she truly appreciates all of the love.

This is Jess now for a quick comment:

"I just want to a thank Brad for everything he has done for me. He is kind, beautiful, funny, smart, helpful, beautiful, kind, beautiful, thoughtful and smart."

She couldn't actually type that but I can tell that's what she was thinking. We connect like that...

Until next time I'll leave you with a post Jess was working on Thursday morning.

3 AM.

I wake to go to the bathroom, as when doing feeds it's about every 2 hours. I take off my O2 to walk the few steps to the bathroom. When I come back to bed I am sounding like Darth Vader. 

Can't breathe.

Horrible headache. I've never had a migraine...I really feel for those who suffer from them. It feels like there are 10 jackhammers gathered together at a convention inside my head.

I've been getting more and more of these. My O2 is 85% upon returning from the bathroom and after a few minutes only moves up to 88%. I, for the millionth time, pause my feeds and unstrap myself from Frederick the Feeder and go yell at my concentrator.

I turn my O2 up to 3 litres to get some reprieve and down a couple Advil.

4 AM.

Still awake. Rocking myself back and forth...I guess I'm still a baby on the inside. Rocking makes me feel better. I eventually lay back on my stack of pillows and fall asleep. There's no pain when your asleep.


Next time I'll ask someone to knock me out with a piledriver.

What have I done to make my lungs this mad? I keep feeling like this infection is going away, only to realize it's just messing with me. It keeps trying to drag me down. I guess I need to turn up my inner "B".

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Last night Dad and I went to Carman and Pamela's for dinner. It was great, once again she picked us up and drove us back. Seriously appreciated. I felt crappy though as I had full intentions of picking up dessert to take and only thought of it again once we were downstairs waiting for her. Ugh.

It was hard to eat though. This problem with breathing and eating is seriously annoying. Why can't the two learn to coexist? Like people and fish (thanks George Bush).

I'm glad Dad got to meet them, along with all the park people. Now Mom and Dad know that we know some really good people here and we're in good hands. Plus Dad got to witness me being crowned...

Lindsay came last night! She showed up full of smiles and sarcasm. That's my Linds. 

Dad left today. It was sad for me; I don't know when I'll see him again.

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Here's some shots from the hospital: