Thursday, 4 October 2012

The Breathing Game

Do you ever wonder...

Wonder what it is like to be short of breath?

Let me articulate.

Every. Breath. Is. Like. This.

You sit and rack your brain for a better position. Sit, stand, lay on your side, lay propped up, curl up like an infant? What do you do? What will ease the torture? What will release the monster that's taken over your pulmonary functions?

You do anything to get air. You try adjusting your breathing, switch up the pattern, purse your lips, slow it down, something, anything.

Maybe there's pain in your chest. Maybe this pain in your chest is overwhelming. It threatens to cripple you, to take you to the floor, to seep through your entire body and paralyze you with its iron grip.


Perhaps if you think about tall hazelnut blondes and a certain tall dark and handsome, you will forget that you can't catch your breath and this cruel game your lungs are playing with you will be over. It doesn't matter that you are not a willing participant. It doesn't faze your lungs when your eyeballs well up with tears.

Your shoulders rise up, then down, up, then down.


And faster.

Your muscles get tighter.

And tighter.

You wonder...

Is it another invasion, or just a bad day?


  1. Hope you feel better Jessica and have a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend.

  2. I know it doesn't faze your lungs when your eyeballs well up with tears... Mine were while I was reading through this - thanks for the reminder - I remember this WAY to vividly and, knowing you're going through this now hurts...

    I thought I would never forget what that felt like - and the past couple years, every now and then I think I'm forgetting... But I'm not forgetting - reading through what you wrote, or seeing someone struggling in our support group brings it all back.

    I hope you know what it feels like to breathe with beautiful, "real" lungs very soon - and I hope you treasure it, like I do, and that you never forget what you've gone through... You're a special human being, Squeeg...

    Love, Steve

    1. A lot of people who read your comments think you're pretty special Steve. You have a way with words!